AN old lover came to see me at the hospital.
He moved over me like a warm blanket.
I recognized him immediately.
I remembered the way he made me feel. Peaceful, sweeter, free, happier, a better version of myself, pretty, content.
I told my doctor and nurses ” I am healing from a heartbreak from this fool, I am vulnerable and in pain. Please take me seriously but help me do the right thing”
I decided to let him in.
YEP, that’s me romancing the PAIN PILLS from the hospital.
Dang it’s been a mind war up in here.
Percocet was one of my main drugs of choice, and here I was gettin em! FOR FREE!!! I was in pain, I needed them and I got them.
I took them as prescribed, no lie, talked daily with other recovering addicts, checked in with anyone who would listen.
But that didn’t stop the love affair and obsession that me, my mind and these pills were having. They would call to me at night “There are 14 of us in here…in one more hour you can have 2” OMG, it just went on and on and from the minute i knew we were gonna play again.
It’s been over a week and I am now ok. BUT! I had to fight, I mean shut my mind down and do some steppin. It freaked me out, how badly I wanted them again, how I could recall just why I took them for sooooooo long.
I think my saving grace is that I told my doctor months ago that I am a recovering addict. He was so on top of it, like daily on top of it. I knew I was liking them when I got mad that he was on top of it LOL.
I played the tape to the end. I would never EVER just be able to take a few pills here and there..I would be a ole scraggly crack ho under the bridge #thetruth!
ALWAYS BE HONEST! That’ll save ya sometimes 🙂