As I walked the streets of Dublin yesterday I saw beer everywhere. I saw places to spend so much money. I thought (and please hear me) “I’m here. On a different time zone. All alone. I could drink. I could spend this cash. Nobody would know.”
Now that’s the thought of an alcoholic ok? That’s what happens first. Then God and the spirit in you thats done and continues to do the work says, “Oh my God you good Lord Jesus thank you that that is literally the last thing i would ever do today! 🙌🏼 That my intent is to seek history and culture. That my main goal is to find a rock for my husband and a leprechaun 🍀 for my sons”
That’s huge guys. That’s sobriety. True recovery. That feeling i want to hold on to. To grow. To remember when i stumble. The money thing too. Spending. The body obsession. I got out. I ate well, I didn’t spend much and i walked and walked.
This may seem like nothing. Like to a normie they say “of course that’s what you do”. To us sickos that ain’t 😉
A friend i was with said “how do you not drink? Is it hard” It’s not hard because i do the work before I ever step foot here.
This year Mama works 🎤
Yesterday I said to Memaw, “Thank you for letting me just go around and sing your songs, thank you for supporting me doing that, if you didn’t support me i would never be able to do this, thank you for always supporting me!” She said “that’s all you have to do, go sing the songs, be nice to the people, you’re my baby, I love you Tayla.”
So I’m rejuvenated and ready! Amazing trip here. Just soaking up people and culture has been so fulfilling.
Something I’m doing at this moment in my life — I don’t know if it’s age or it’s being a mama or what….I’m present. I’m in gratitude. I am in constant care. I’m happy. People-2 people-actually said “how do you stay happy? How do you sustain that?”
Gratitude. Period. God first. Prayer first. Everyday. First. And being in thanks. I jump up and down when I’m alone and say “look at where you are girlfriend!”
I thank God and my husband that they want me doing this. I miss those babies….but i don’t worry. I give them to God. I do the work and I’m such a better mama when I’m with them. A much better wife and Finger Farm #fingerfarmer when I’m home ❤💕