A blank space. A hole with words to fill. A girl who didn’t go to college and barely attended high school throws words on here like spattered paint. No rhyme or reason and absolutely makin a mess of ole correcto English grammar. Her close friends have forgiven her this and know her well. Can decipher this nonsense she calls writing. Strangers either laugh or run. There aren’t too many in betweens.
The venture of writing a blog, of writing a song, telling your story is a courageous one. I use that word because I think of my close friends who put their hearts on the line on the daily when writing music. When we write music it is of the soul. Period. It comes from the heart and if it is not there to be written then part of the soul is missing for that day. Same goes with writing anything in my humblest of humbles. When there is chaos and mess I can write all day long. Give me a rainbow, Charlie brown and I ain’t gotta a clue.
There is a place over the rainbow I am headed. There is a place I sit in this moment that is full of sunshine. I have been blown in the wind and laughed in the rain. I have cried the ocean. But for today it is bliss. I think of the girls I know lost to the disease of addiction. I too suffer from alcoholism and addiction but have somehow found a way to connect to God and HE has removed that obsession for me, just for today,
I pray for my little sis who is locked away with only her thoughts to think. Those incredible self hatin devils who tell us we aren’t worthy. Who tell us no one loves us, we are not valuable. We are terrible women, mothers, children, sisters…TO THOSE DEMONS I SAY GO!!!!!!! Get out of here!!
She is loved, valuable, not alone, worthy and most of all SHE IS A CHILD of GOD and because of that she has a yellow brick road laid out before her…..It just takes the walking …I wanna scream that too! JUST START WALKIN baby girls! START WALKING!!!! I can not tell you how to shake off the obsession. I am no expert. But I know what worked and works for me daily. That is askin God to remove it, doing HIS will, helping others and WALKING….doing that footwork. I pray I get rid of judgement in my heart and that I too keep walkin. That gossip, ego, narcissism leave me….For today maybe they will be less than yesterday and is that not a blessing? I have been remembering lately an old blog I wrote after I had my son. It spoke of “an old lover coming to visit me”. (the pain pills they gave me for birth) Today if that lover (pain pills) came to pay a visit I would knock his silly ars to the ground and keep steppin! We always gotta keep steppin!!!!
Keep Steppin’ Turts