Turts’ Stories n Truths

Cindy, Celebration of Life 1024 749 Chase Jennings

Cindy, Celebration of Life

There was a brief moment in the sky when i felt her brush my face and call me her baby.

There was a touch of her warmth in the air. But as soon as i felt it it passed. I tried to grab it. For only a second more. But that’s as long as she had.

I see her. She’s in the flowers. All of them. She’s Bright, smiling and filled with joy and healing.

She’s so much more than this obituary but Arrangements needed to be made.

As in life Mom lived everyday as an adventure, never planning for the future. She had no life insurance 🙄👵🏻😂🧟‍♂️ planning the funeral today was heavy.

So many people have asked what they can do. Feel free to donate to the Cindy Plemons Memorial Fund.

Please Join Us:
Thursday 9-10am visitation
10:30am Grave Side Service at Burwood Cemetery in Burwood TN

Directly to follow

💖💕Celebration of Life💕💖

We will directly go have a “Cindy Celebration of Life” at Burwood Community Center

Everyone is welcome 🎪

We want you there 🦋

An outpouring of love is coming our way and we accept and appreciate that ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

You’ve asked if there is anything you can do.

Feel free to bring food. Thursday is catered by our buds at Greers but there is always room for pies sides whatever! People love to eat with somebody die honey 👵🏻

We will have a band Thursday and blow up balloons. We will sing and cry.

Until we can get Mamas accounts squared away we have started the “Cindy Plemons Memorial Fund”

You can send donations for funeral and Mason directly to my PayPal at taylatotmusic@gmail.com (do you know how gross we feel posting about that but wanting to get this funeral and mason paid for and set up trumps our pride)

What would Mama expect me to do? Go LIVE like her sunshine would…

Watch the replay via Facebook
Love you all
Tayla Lynn in Dublin
Lessons From Dublin 1024 841 Chase Jennings

Lessons From Dublin

As I walked the streets of Dublin yesterday I saw beer everywhere. I saw places to spend so much money. I thought (and please hear me) “I’m here. On a different time zone. All alone. I could drink. I could spend this cash. Nobody would know.”

Now that’s the thought of an alcoholic ok? That’s what happens first. Then God and the spirit in you thats done and continues to do the work says, “Oh my God you good Lord Jesus thank you that that is literally the last thing i would ever do today! 🙌🏼 That my intent is to seek history and culture. That my main goal is to find a rock for my husband and a leprechaun 🍀 for my sons”

That’s huge guys. That’s sobriety. True recovery. That feeling i want to hold on to. To grow. To remember when i stumble. The money thing too. Spending. The body obsession. I got out. I ate well, I didn’t spend much and i walked and walked.

This may seem like nothing. Like to a normie they say “of course that’s what you do”. To us sickos that ain’t 😉

A friend i was with said “how do you not drink? Is it hard” It’s not hard because i do the work before I ever step foot here.


This year Mama works 🎤

Yesterday I said to Memaw, “Thank you for letting me just go around and sing your songs, thank you for supporting me doing that, if you didn’t support me i would never be able to do this, thank you for always supporting me!” She said “that’s all you have to do, go sing the songs, be nice to the people, you’re my baby, I love you Tayla.”

So I’m rejuvenated and ready! Amazing trip here. Just soaking up people and culture has been so fulfilling.

Something I’m doing at this moment in my life — I don’t know if it’s age or it’s being a mama or what….I’m present. I’m in gratitude. I am in constant care. I’m happy. People-2 people-actually said “how do you stay happy? How do you sustain that?”

Gratitude. Period. God first. Prayer first. Everyday. First. And being in thanks. I jump up and down when I’m alone and say “look at where you are girlfriend!”

I thank God and my husband that they want me doing this. I miss those babies….but i don’t worry. I give them to God. I do the work and I’m such a better mama when I’m with them. A much better wife and Finger Farm #fingerfarmer when I’m home ❤💕

Merry Christmas Eve! 1024 683 Chase Jennings

Merry Christmas Eve!

Merry Christmas Eve!

I won’t keep you — I literally wanted to just spread some love and light to y’all tonight.

I’ve been so blessed by all of you this year. Thank you! Our family is spending the Holiday in our second home of Seattle.

God says that our primary purpose is to be of service and help others. The only way i know how to do that is to be bold and honest I’m telling my story. I was asked to share my story with my church, Compassion Church, for the Christmas Eve services. I happily and fearfully agreed.

Here it is…… I pray it is a gift to someone because every time I tell it, the shame lifts a little more, the door to God gets wider and my heart feels more at peace.

From the Finger Farm to you….Merry Christmas!

Cindy Plemons 1000 667 Chase Jennings

Cindy Plemons

This crazy lady in this video is Mama Cindy Plemons. She up in the hospital 🏥 I mean what is happening around me 😷

My mom has been a pack a day if not more smoker for as long as I can remember. Marlboro Lights. It caught her. She can barely breathe on her own and her oxygen levels keep dropping. They have her in the hospital in Franklin at least until Thursday. Maybe longer 👩🏻‍💻
They think she has emphysema (how do you even spell that). This along with her skin cancer and no teeth takin’ her down. 🤦🏻‍♀️
She called me today to tell me not to bring the babes up there to see her. Going in the morning. Feel terrible not being there now.
So throw Mama on that list of Memaw, Tim, Dad, me Hahahah the whole family going to pot 👎🏼🤧👹
If any of my friends wanna go visit her at the Williamson County Hospital, she would love it (along with any cards, candy or flowers 🌺). As some of you may know, my mom and I are both survivors of domestic violence. With that being said, I know it would also mean a lot to her if we could raise money for The National Network to End Domestic Violence in her name. If anyone would like to donate, view my original post on Facebook here.

Big love to all of you. ❤️

Memaw’s Stroke 1000 667 Chase Jennings

Memaw’s Stroke

Sometimes the madness has to slow down long enough to write about it…

It’s been two weeks and three days since Memaws’s stroke. It’s been two weeks and two days since I began having horrible stomach pains. It’s been one week and three days since I was diagnosed with gallstones and three days since they said, “never mind, we aren’t sure where the pain is coming from.”

It’s been one summer, fall winter and spring since I announced that I was gonna kick off a Pledge account and my Grammy nominated Record Producer Aunt Patsy Lynn Russell  said that she would write and produce it for me. So today. May 23rd I write to you and tell you we are doing just that.

​In a time when we have tragedies like Manchester and I see that my grandmother is truly 85 and not bullet proof like I want to dream…I want to step into the light. I want to create now more than ever To not give into the fear. To not stop because the universe throws shade. To be the light in that shade.

I want to make a raw and real record ala Loretta meets Lucinda Willams but it’s all me and Pasty in there with our blood sweat and tears…I can’t do it alone. I need you. I love social media for this. We feel like we know each other and from social media some of you have become like family to me.

I first heard of these crowdfunding platforms a few years ago when I was still in Stealing Angels. We were mad as hornets we didn’t do that route. From there I have seen Melissa Etheridge, Emily West, Shelly Fairchild, Natalie Stovall….all make the record they want all by themselves! No record label to pay back! So without further ado, here is my Pledge page! For anyone new to Pledge, it’s similar to KickStarter, but specifically for musicians. Here’s a screencap from their About page that explains everything better than I could:

Pledge Music screencap

Also, if you have any suggestions for my Access Pass or giveaway rewards, please let me know. THANK YOU!

From a Scar 1000 667 taylalynn

From a Scar

Glennon Doyle Melton tells us to “make sure we are sharing from your scars not your open wounds.” But, alas, I am learning. I am trying to grow up. As I cipher through my blogs I read. I can feel the heartache or joy I felt when writing these stories. I edit from a place of scars today. I am in the process of a new journey.



Where my writings are as much of a focus as my music, as much of a focus as my job as a homemaker. Nothing will ever be as important as being a wife or Mama but there is balance here. I am finding that daily. Shall we step into these scars?

This was a blog written when I was aout 7 months pregnant and lost. As I read back and edit I can see why I relapsed a few months after that. There are signs everywhere.

I pray..I read,

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of the darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins…”

“Since then you have been raised with Christ set your heart on things above…”

“Put to death, therefore whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil, desires…”

Colossians 1

I stop there.. Sexual immorality, being rescued from the darkness… I am a Christian. I believe that the only way for me to get to heaven is through Jesus Christ. I believe I am a sinner and I will pay for those sins when I die and see my heavenly Father. I do believe that Christ died for my sins and that because of that I am forgiven.


I wrote the above paragraph in 2012. When I was drowning. I do believe I am a sinner, but the language I use there “I will pay for those sins” is not how I think anymore. I have asked for forgiveness and I have repented. I don’t believe I will be up there in shackles today. This is the entire love of Jesus. He washes me clean. All I have to do is show up.

Growing up I was always mischievous, rebellious, wild as all get out… My mama didn’t raise us in church exactly. We would go to Berry’s Chapel Church of Christ in Franklin when we were younger, then we’d head on over to the Nazarene church, Baptist, Jehovah Witness, Catholic, you name it, we went. Mama was a free spirit, she loved the Lord, she believed in Jesus. I followed her free spirit ways.

Now my Aunt Bill (Granny’s sister, my Mama’s mama) was not so free-spirited but my goodness she was full of love. She went o church every Sunday baby. She wasn’t so into Mama’s way of livin. Mama has got the best heart and she had kids real young so she was always looking for what it was that would save us…..lookin for somethin that would make her and us complete.

Sometimes that answer would come to her in not so good men and men that were good but just had their own demons too. Granny and Aunt Bill, who lived next door to each other “on  the hill” watched all of this in what looked like anger on their hearts, but the older I get ,I realize it was total fear.

Mama lived fast. I liked it. So I did too 🙂

I mention Aunt Bill to ya because she is who I “heard” for some reason. She taught me more about the Jesus I have come to love and worship~more so than any church.

The God I know is loving,  all-knowing, huge, knows every little ants heart, HE is funny, loves me and you the same, is sad about my misdoings but loves me anyway, keeps giving me life and love, He is always present , only I can shut HIM out, HE will have consequences for me when I get up there, but because I love HIM so I will get up there 🙂 He will judge me when it is my time. I am ok with that, he scary but I like havin something I fear. It helps me do right.

Rereading the above in 2017 from 2012 I am seeing a common thread here. I say that God is all loving but then I talk so much about how HE will punish me. Again, I say this is not the Lord I know today. Sure I will answer to my Father in Heaven but…this mean Daddy of a God isn’t the loving Father I have in my hearts eye today. I have taken so much out of this blog that was just jumbled and hasn’t even made sense to me. I see a broken girl in this blog, so taking some of those pieces but trying to come up with a solution based story in what I leave)

So, we know now, I read the bible, I am a sinner, I am a lover of Jesus Christ, I am an ex crack and heroine/pill/ alcoholic addict, I have had pre marital sex, My mama ain’t perfect but she is mine, I grew up with the word being taught to me, I go to church, I am a survivor of mental, physical and sexual abuse. I am a Christian. It is not my job to judge you, judge other people’s actions and I certainly have no room in my closet over here to sit on my throne and pack your stuff in there. I wanna love you. I wanna be loved.


(In 2017 I am reading this with you, I have not skipped ahead. I see the next sentence and now I get it. I was FULL of guilt and shame when I wrote this. FYI I relapsed just months later, I can see why now)

This takes me to a small topic I want to discuss.  I got pregnant before marriage. I will be havin a talk with the Lord when I get up to the pearly gates for more than just pre marital sex I promise ya 😉

(again 2017, TAY, babe. This is not your God today)

I have wanted a baby for as long as I can remember. I met Jon Cody, we fell in love and were engaged a month later. 4 months later we found out we were pregnant. Our first thoughts were of joy and peace. This was a child who came from love. Our families were ecstatic. I believe with all of my heart and soul that once my baby boy was in my body it became a blessing. God loves Christian children. My son is just that.

Jon Cody and I decided to wait to get through the  first trimester before telling anyone, our jobs, our friends etc. I was so scared I would miscarry. I am not in my twenties anymore. Ya know what I swore to be honest here so…..Im mid thirties now 😉 (that as close as I will get)

^^^^^^ *2017 fear of being really known

SO, ladies and even you guys know that we women start gettin nervous at that age. To me, once we had conceived there was nothing more important than keeping my baby safe. I mean with all the drugs I had done in my past I was afraid I had damaged my body permanently. My drug abuse was no small venture. So we waited. For me it was tortuous. If you know me at all you know I LOVE to tell everything fast and put it on FB/TWITTER even faster…

After the first trimester we told our friends and work colleagues. We were met with love. There were places in my life that I will not go into detail, but places in my life that told me I had to be quiet, not to tell this secret. It became a secret for a while. This brought back so much shame from my youth- I can not tell you the hurt I felt. But we survive don’t we…When Tru was 20 weeks and we found out he was a boy I told the world. There was so much freedom in sharing that love. We were just swamped with absolute love!!!

Now don’t worry, Jon Cody and I have read and heard AWFUL things! How I am not a good person, a sinner, we are only getting married because we are with child, on and on. The sad thing is this wasn’t just from strangers on some website or twitter but people I knew. The judgment was hurtful. I do know what my bible says and I hear my pastor preach. Pre marital sex is a sin. Guess what- I am not perfect and I sinned. I will be judged by my FATHER, and I hope that I don’t go around spewing hate at people who sin. Cause that my friend is a sin itself. 🙂 yesssss

(*2017 I hear so much anger, fear and judgment in my own voice in the above.

So where does all this lead. I don’t know. I guess it makes me feel better telling you who I am a bit. I want to know you too. I want us to begin a journey that is real here. IF you wanna judge me go on…I am tough as nails and can handle pretty much anything you wanna throw my way..

(*2017 saying you are tough as nails means you are probably hurting)

My sweet husband on the other hand gets very upset and wants to protect me. He was so mad reading the things people had to say about our love, our baby, hearing the shameful things people I knew were saying. He was ready to fight 😉 But instead we just hunker down and make our sweet family….Our life of love. MY GOD it is SWEET!!!!!!

(*2017 I hunkered down and made Jon Cody my God because I felt so much shame and guilt. Fear)

I wanna end with this. My girls (Stealing Angels) were so supportive and so full of love from the moment I told them about the baby. They are my sisters for life (*2017 truth)

. We are regrouping and figuring out our next move. As you know a baby changes everything 🙂 We are all still writing and recording music, anxious to get back out on the road. (LIE. I have no idea why I lied here. Maybe we were still talking about it but there was heartbreak and tears 100 times a day and we weren’t recording LOL, Oh Tay babe)

 My sisters and their families were nothin but sweet angels during all of this news that absolutely turned their worlds upside down too. It has been a crazy ride and we so appreciate all the love and support we have received from our fans and friends out there. Keep with us..We only got a couple months left before we saddle up 🙂 

(who even knows what any of that means? Couple months before we saddle what up?*2017)

5 Years Later

As I read this all again in 2017, 5 years later, I wonder what it is I am trying to convince yself if here? What is it I am doing putting this into the world back then? Am I gathering a posse for “my side, my salvation”. Am I looking for God in you? Was at looking for you to tell me I am ok and a good person? Today I know that is between me and God. I have enjoyed reading this and seeing where I have changed. I am so grateful for the relapse, for the rehab, for my husband, for the break from the music business so that I can see where I found the truth. It is in Jesus, in my family, in music and in writing. I no longer think I will be bashed in heaven for having my baby out of wedlock. I have asked for forgiveness and I have changed. I love the Lord and I feel HIS love for me. That’s all we can do. What a cool lesson Glennon is teaching me.

I Can’t Sleep 1000 667 taylalynn

I Can’t Sleep

I can’t sleep. I thought she was dead. The politics make me crazy. I wish I was smarter but that’s not something you can wish. It takes studying.

I wish I had more money, but that would take more work. I wish I was more understood but that would take more understanding.

I co-sleep. My little one is 16 months and kicks or talks all night. I still wouldn’t trade it but I am chronically tired. It doesn’t matter. I awaken this morning to the book by my bed “When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron. I have read it and highlighted it to death over the last 13 years. It still calls me.

When I turn my “white noise” down a little lower my addict creeps to FB. I decide in my sleep I will let people (who?) know how I really feel about it all. Then I read. What I read may not even be true but it tells my ego-now you must be quiet.

I get up to drink the coffee. I need 42 coffees before the babes wake up. I drink. I read. I write. Am I lost? Am I centered? Will my friends at church not speak to me because I have supported the Women’s March. To my women have I supported them and myself enough. What do I really believe? Would it be different depending on who I am with. How do I sit alone as Tayla and make a choice for myself. Decide who I really am at the core and what I really believe.

We had a life group last night and my pastor (very cool guy, not old man hell and brimstone) asks us,

“What gives your soul energy? How do you feed your soul? How do you “sabbath”

My answer comes quickly, I know this: Hikes alone. A road trip alone singing as loud as I can to a brand new amazing record. Movies alone. Therapy when it clicks. Laughing with my very closest girlfriends when we are just being us.

David (brother) called me to tell me they were rushing Granny to Vanderbilt. She was having an allergic reaction to some medicine and they were thinking it was Johnson’s disease. Maybe she would spend some time in the burn unit-this disease eats your skin cells. I thought when he called she was dead. I wasn’t ready. She is 83, she has not been well, I should be ready. I pushed that grief away like it was a hot stove. I repelled. I said NO I can not now, I’m not ready. I thought-I have things to say.

The Next Right Thing

What would you say? I went and said them and it didn’t change the tide. She didn’t light up like they do in the movies. It mattered to me but didn’t move the world. But it shifted my world. When we do the next right thing we shift something in ourselves.

She is better and on the mend. *this is not Loretta. I feel irritated even having to say that. Like Granny is not as important to you as Memaw. Haven’t I created that beast though? Do I post pics of me and Granny? No. But then again Granny barely let you take her picture 🙂

I think maybe I am just writing to one person out there this morning. Someone who just wants to connect with someone elses story. Who has a mottled mind like me. Who wants to have more facts in their tool box but lives by heart instead.

I know you. I am you. Unload to me. Help me feel the normality of not being alone is this crazy mind too. Tell me that you too miss your granny even though you still won’t go see her enough. That you don’t know all these policies but you know what your heart tells you is right when it comes to politics, tell me that you wake up with nonsense in your head, a twisted toddler on your bed and still a hopeful bright, happy heart.

#itkeepsmesober #iknowyou



On Day 3, We Kept Reading John 1000 667 taylalynn

On Day 3, We Kept Reading John

I am no theologian. So do not read me for the “correct” answers.
As a church we are reading a chapter of John a day. There are 21 chapters. So for 21 days. 1 chapter. It is day 3 and I am already more into my bible than I have been in years. YEARS. When I first got sober about 13 years ago I was a desperate as the dying could be. I was in a state of change. I was thirsty for that. I have chills to think I feel that again. Not because I have fear of the drink-I can never drink again-but because I want it so bad…I want it so bad….I already feel it, Feel His words talking to me, telling me things I did not know. HE IS DOING SOMETHING NEW. HE is whispering and I am walking.
The reason I picked up to write to you….
I thought that it was cool that this morning at 5:14am the wind was blowing so hard and at that moment I read in John 3:8 “you wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but cannot tell where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the spirit.”
I will tell you the truth-I NEVER knew what John 3:16 said until this MOMENT—-I mean by memory, I know they saying, I know the verse, I was always to scared to ask and too ignorant to look it up!!!!
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
3:19 Light has come into the world, but people loved the darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20: Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. BAM!!!!
LISTEN though listen!!!!…..
3:21 But whoever lives by the TRUTH comes into the light (YAY US!)
so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.
DUDE-when I am doing wrong or lets say….I don’t feel like I do “wrong” so much anymore as “maybe there is a better idea here, a better way or I shouldn’t get that or say that etc…..” When I have those thoughts I feel edgy and on fire-my stomach churns a little with grody im gonna be in trouble with GOD so like a child let me hide it from GOD…..Hide it from God? Mmmm Greer smart, He can’t see when you shut your heart and mind off for a few can He. DUMB. I can see that in my mind though. That is what I do.
Ooooooo John 3:30 He must become greater and I must become less. Yes Yes Yes
Oh man. Deep here and I am just typing away when y’all could pick up ye own bible but I didn’t so I don’t know if you will…I listened to this:
John 3:33
Whoever has accepted it has certified that God is truthful.
John 3: 36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.
It was hard to decide to type out 3:36 because my very best friend does not believe in Jesus and thinks the bible is a story book. There are times we joke and for me to state this felt like it was saying “You going to hell Shels. But!!!! This is my faith. I do believe this book. I do believe in Jesus. I do believe HE is the way. You know what else, I believe in Sheila and her process, I always will. She is my best friend, I am her best friend. We don’t run from each other because we have different beliefs…IN FACT IN FACT I believe it makes us love each other harder because we do accept each other so much. In every way.
Tell me about your faith. Tell me about your friend. Do you feel accepted?
I LOVE THIS RAINBOW and EVERYTHING that has come to represent 🙂
When it about Mama… 1000 667 taylalynn

When it about Mama…

I am a sucker for that moment…

When everything feels like it can be anything. We are about to do something that brings us to life!

What is it that brings you to life?

I don’t fill in the blanks because I am scared to write.

I don’t post a blog because I am have nothing to say. I lie because I have fear that what I say isn’t what you want to hear.

I don’t let you come over because I am afraid that the corner without the paint will be the corner that your mind holds as it’s its image of me, blank and poor.

I am a kaleidoscope of emotions and thoughts I can’t pick just one. It is like saying that I have one feeling about Mama.


When I say Mama my mind and heart immediately do a lip turn up into a smile, a tear in my eye, a sneeze and then a laugh. Yes, it’s exactly like that. She is all of that.

Mama in my mind’s eye is always smiling or laughing. or let’s get real…eating. She love to eat. Now folks she ain’t fat either. She was always so thin until she really packed it once.  She sat and ate at husband number 3 for a year after he cheated on her with his secretary. Anyhoo that another story. Mama love to eat and laugh.

She about 5’4 and back down to all american weight now. She is missin a tooth though from what she say a child knock it out. She date a lot tho so who to say.


There is a woman who writes me when I write about Mama and who also writes Mama to shame me in the way I speak about Mama (yes Mama shows me). Before we get much further….Mama and I have been to therapy, to many “family weeks” at Rehab centers, we have walked thru this, we have forgiven, we laugh, that is how we walk.

Back to Mama.

3 things Mama loves. Animals, kids and Cereal.

Now I could also add men, music and cars here, but lets save that for next week. I think for this chapter leavin it a bit lighter says-hey Mama a dang trip son.

Mama will fight you for a guinea pig.

Growing up I was traumatized by dogs, rabbits ( we would have our friends come over and teach them about sex thru the mating of rabbits, no not mama, well i would do this ok, i sold tickets, kids came, i made bank)

wait, where was I ?????? Oh ok, traumatized, yes trauma…..mmm, mmmmm TRAUMA, One time I put on my dress only to be covered in cat poop for where she thought one of her sick kittens needed my awesome dress as a nice new bed. SHE ROTTEN. We had no less than 15 dogs in our 1,000 sq foot home in high school. SHE BUILT a ramp so they could easily come thru all the windows etc!!!! Then we got us a parrot. Y’all we lived across the street from the high school not on a farm ok, the parrot….she would let fly wild then go out with cheese and sing to him (Marley) and he would fly back to her arm. Yes. I would be out there taking tickets and she would be singing to the parrot, my brother would be hiding in his room appalled at it all, Roger sitting in his wrecker eating spearmint gum and Brandy would be playing in the brand new RV we bought that we parked in our backyard along with the hot tub that was now her new apartment (she was 7). Times were good. Times were good.




Crawling Through The Briars 1000 667 taylalynn

Crawling Through The Briars

I think maybe its time to talk about a woman’s view of an affair. Her affair. Her having the affair.

Since I have started being open about this subject I have gotten more emails and texts from y’all than I have on any subject we have grazed.

So Lets begin some open dialogue here.

I think we should write some then let’s do a FB LIVE Chat session on Friday morning December 9th. I will try to answer a few questions here then I will go in to more detail from my #facebook/taylalynn.music page.

What are some of your fears?

What breaks your heart the most?

What can you not get over?

Talk to me so I can talk to you….






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