Dear Turts – Advice Column….. (I ain’t no doctor)

Angels, Unicorns and Baby Jesus Really Do Exist 1024 683 Chase Jennings

Angels, Unicorns and Baby Jesus Really Do Exist

The world has made me vulnerable on purpose, yet at the same time I became a grown-ass woman who suddenly needed to make decisions on her own. (paraphrased by my dead mama mentor, GorgeousInGrey.com)

“Angels and Unicorns and Baby Jesus really do exist.”

My mama called me the other night in my dream. When I answered the phone I continued to say “Mom? Mom?” I was in shock. I was trembling with happiness to her voice. She calmly told me how it isn’t much different there. They all have jobs and she was just chillin’ right then. I could see her on the phone in a cute little house, candles lit, crisp fall day, chili on, people running around outside. That would be heaven for Mama. That sounds like heaven to me. Heaven is my Mamas sweet lullaby, her voice in the kitchen, candles lit, fire in the den, people in and out of the house we love, my kids piled up on my lap, Jon Cody outside chasin’ goats. Memaw on the radio.

Today is her birthday and I fight the guilt. It’s the guilt that rages sometimes in grief. How was I possibly too busy to throw her a 60th Birthday Bash? I told her-If you quit smoking I will do this and that. Who am I to judge her? If you make Mason mind I will let you come out on the road more. That one. That ONE kills me. Literally breaks me into pieces. I can see them. Like last nights’ glitter all over my floor. The guilt of things I did to my Mama. Don’t be that person who says “She wouldn’t want you to feel guilt” Well no shit Glenda but I do so let’s move through it. Work on it. Why did I do what I did? What can I do differently not to feel like this again? Get to the source of the defect. Acknowledge it, change it. DO NOT SIT IN SELF PITY. My Mama made me mad and I made her cry. Nobody loved her more though. I promise you that. NOBODY. Maybe baby bro and sis and auntie but I don’t know. My obsession was big and bountiful and she was so much to me. She still is. As I type she’s wrapped around me in this sweater. I hold tight. My birthday wasn’t really that difficult to get through. I felt and I cried some but I stayed busy. Today I take her things…so many things ..to good will. We slowly keep wrapping up her life. She died exactly 4 months ago. On this day. This night. The 7th or early morning like 1am on the 8th. She should’ve been at my house. She shouldn’t have driven home. But hey I was busy right? I had kids here. I had to leave early. It was an inconvenience I couldn’t deal with. Mama I am going to Canada and you won’t wake up then the kids will be crazy and on and on. So she died. Alone. After driving Granny and Mason home safely. She died right there. Alone. I will feel that guilt and grief for a long time to come. What I did not do. I don’t feel shame because I know God and God won’t let me fall that far into this. But today. Just for today I will feel it all. Most days I only feel it when I see the oink in the sky or Tyminski singing “Numb”. Today I give Mama every piece of energy I have. What’s left over will carry me through the night.

I do not tell you all this for sympathy or to hear “Don’t feel that way” or “go to see a therapist” Y’all I have been in therapy since I was 8 years old. 8! and ongoing for the first 10 years of sobriety, 7 rehabs with intense therapy daily for 30 days or more. I know therapy. THANK GOD I HAVE THE TOOLS TO BE HONEST HERE AND GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD…….TO be SOBER in this walk. TO feel guilt and say dang that hurts but that’s OK BECAUSE I MUST FEEL IT TO MOVE THROUGH IT. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about them. We talk about pink hats and politics, we take pictures of pretty wine glasses and babies but when it comes to death and sobriety unless it is some celebrity like Matt Damon we should just not bother with the ugly truth. Today I bother 🙂

ALL. DAY. LONG. HAPPY PRETTY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY MAMA Cindy Plemons.

The Now… The Change 1024 683 Chase Jennings

The Now… The Change

If everything changes after that, then this must be The Now…The Change.

When I went to send you this email, I went to send it to Mama too. That is when you know this is the now that they talk about being the after.

Mama had a way about her. She spread laughter, joy, wild energy and love. She moved me and mad me madder than a hornet. Made me madder than anybody in town ever thought of doin son!

But I loved her more than anyone until I held my babies. You love your mama like that don’t cha? You were grown in her body. A part of her. There is nobody you are closer to—- other than your own babies. That’s my experience anyway. This grief thing is ever changing. I am mad. I am happy. I am desperately sad but at the same time I feel nothing.

I am moving through my life but there is a disconnect. I’m not all there. I am foggy and afraid. I am peaceful and aware.

I am taking pieces of her. The pieces that were bright and the parts that I felt somehow lacked. How dare me think they lack. What judgement. As if…I…somehow know what is right for another. For me I take these pieces and I build.

I’ve never focused on a budget or been the bread winner of not just a family but merely of my own. We are to be self supporting aren’t we? I guessed and hoped someone would always foot the bill. (because hadn’t they?)

I was raised that way. Today I am trying to break the chain and to do so is like snapping a rubber band in half and at the same time it is the most powerful thing I have ever done.

All power is God. Got it. But this footwork is mine and to work I shall. My granddaddy always said “Work Hard Tayla” I have done that but its been more if a “hustle”. Today I am focused and intentional.

I am taking the lead for our financial stability today. Scariest most liberating moment. I am building with the pieces see.

I am so grateful…..My prayer has been for the last 15 years “God please allow me to financially support my family through music”

It is proving to be there…..almost……So one must continue driving while staying focused in their lane. For me my lane is broad 🙂

My ventures are:

MUSIC: Always MUSIC — to Sing is to Breathe and to breathe is to stay Sober and connected to the Lord. This is the most important job I do outside of Recovery and my little Finger Fam. I must pursue this with all of my might. This is my calling and to not practice my magic is to fall. I no longer fall. I trip. I get up. I always get back up.

HOSTING: I love the events that come our way at the Loretta Lynn Ranch!!!!! Its our home and I enjoy making people feel like it is theirs as well 🙂

ACTING: Just landed another role in a faith based film YAY! Acting for me is just like singing. Its in the same vein.

DUCK RIVER DRONES: Booking and selling what we offer. This is obv new for me. Its a little like actin tho eh 🙂 You know I am just throwin’ you a show of your land/party whatever xoxo

FINGER FARM: Our new store in downtown Waverly. Open to the Public Oct 1st.

It will be my office where I head up Tayla Lynn Enterprises, Duck River Drones and our Animal sales.

The store will have….stay tunes for October 1st.

This will also be the meeting place for “Rise Up”

I am also doing all things EVENTS!!!!

I’m not only hosting events that include Tre and myself but other types too 🙂 Women’s Retreats are kinda our gig and Family oriented Community Events!

I AM SCARED. I AM FAITHFUL!

Loretta Lynn, womenslifestyle.com

My husband is running the farm and being a “stay at home daddy” When I am on the road. He is also the man behind the Drones/Animals and just being our dad gum rock y’all. He is so passionate about his family. About this land. About my music. He supports this new way of livin we are doing 100 percent! 😉

I need help y’all. Any push you can give me or any share will help. I sold 4 goats and booked 2 house parties & a drone session today! WHAT??? GOD IS GOOD! God is love! I am without fear baby.

How can you help?

  • Host a house party.
  • Got a role in a movie? Call me
  • Need to host an event? Ok I help you plan it.
  • Need some pics of your house, wedding, party, lawn, real estate, Baby daddy cheating? Know someone who might? Tell me. Send em over!

I got goats, pigs and cows. Call me. I bring em over.

I got tables chairs and all things woods son. I will sell em to you LOL

I have NEVER been the baby driver before 😉 Got advice? I won’t listen but feel free to share how much better you would be than me at his email 🙂 I always get at least 5 of those when I send out a newsletter….yet somehow they keep gettin read. Real interesting Clark!

I am determined and I am on fire. When you build pieces of yourself that have always been there but you were to dang scared to do it—when you do it. You know it. You feel it. You move in it. you LOVE.

I love you all.
T

Tayla Lynn in Dublin
Lessons From Dublin 1024 841 Chase Jennings

Lessons From Dublin

As I walked the streets of Dublin yesterday I saw beer everywhere. I saw places to spend so much money. I thought (and please hear me) “I’m here. On a different time zone. All alone. I could drink. I could spend this cash. Nobody would know.”

Now that’s the thought of an alcoholic ok? That’s what happens first. Then God and the spirit in you thats done and continues to do the work says, “Oh my God you good Lord Jesus thank you that that is literally the last thing i would ever do today! 🙌🏼 That my intent is to seek history and culture. That my main goal is to find a rock for my husband and a leprechaun 🍀 for my sons”

That’s huge guys. That’s sobriety. True recovery. That feeling i want to hold on to. To grow. To remember when i stumble. The money thing too. Spending. The body obsession. I got out. I ate well, I didn’t spend much and i walked and walked.

This may seem like nothing. Like to a normie they say “of course that’s what you do”. To us sickos that ain’t 😉

A friend i was with said “how do you not drink? Is it hard” It’s not hard because i do the work before I ever step foot here.

—————————————————-

This year Mama works 🎤

Yesterday I said to Memaw, “Thank you for letting me just go around and sing your songs, thank you for supporting me doing that, if you didn’t support me i would never be able to do this, thank you for always supporting me!” She said “that’s all you have to do, go sing the songs, be nice to the people, you’re my baby, I love you Tayla.”

So I’m rejuvenated and ready! Amazing trip here. Just soaking up people and culture has been so fulfilling.

Something I’m doing at this moment in my life — I don’t know if it’s age or it’s being a mama or what….I’m present. I’m in gratitude. I am in constant care. I’m happy. People-2 people-actually said “how do you stay happy? How do you sustain that?”

Gratitude. Period. God first. Prayer first. Everyday. First. And being in thanks. I jump up and down when I’m alone and say “look at where you are girlfriend!”

I thank God and my husband that they want me doing this. I miss those babies….but i don’t worry. I give them to God. I do the work and I’m such a better mama when I’m with them. A much better wife and Finger Farm #fingerfarmer when I’m home ❤💕

Even When You Think You Can’t, You CAN 1000 667 Chase Jennings

Even When You Think You Can’t, You CAN

“You never have to drink again.” That is what one wise woman told me once. And when you’re sitting in the middle of things that are hard, as a recovering alcoholic and drug attic and someone who struggles with eating disorders…spends too much money, and body stuff..the first thing that you go to are the things that are gonna ease the pain. I would have done that in the past.

I’m also a lover of Jesus Christ. I love the Lord. And to just be sitting with him and really be hanging onto the women who show me how to walk in sobriety and listening to that holy spirit guide me and tell me what to. I got sober so I could do that — so I could be a granddaughter, a mom… My little boy was sick and I had to rush home at 6 this morning because I stayed in Nashville to be closer to my grandmother. I got sober to be able to do things like that.

My whole point — and I’ve made 50 videos trying to say it right and I don’t think I ever will (it’s progress not perfection) — so I’ll just say: Anybody who is out there struggling with the bottle or drugs, there are those of us out there who have done it, so you can do it too. Without sobriety, I would have nothing with all that it brings me, along with my connection to God and the love that I feel. Even sadness — I get to cling to something that’s real instead of something that’s going to make me feel like crap about myself at the end of the day.
You can do it. Stay sober. Feel free. Love God and stay close to him. And even in sadness, life is so beautiful. To be able to feel with a pure heart and be of service is so huge. One small video from my front porch in Hurricane Mills won’t convey the feeling that my heart is having so I’ll end it at that.

xo Tayla

Quick Life Lesson from Turts 1000 667 Chase Jennings

Quick Life Lesson from Turts

If I could give one piece of advice….Unsolicited obv. Stay the course. Do not give up. Throw prayer and God at the top middle bottom and everywhere in between.

Be willing to hurt some for what you want. It is the PROCESS that makes it sweeter. ALWAYS BE KIND and be a woman/man of INTEGRITY.

Treat people well..Go out and smile and be nice as much as your soul can handle then be nice just once more. We can always take one more step, so be nice one more time.

Anger solves nothing. Getting all mad and grody throwin your negatives all over tarnation is so barf. AIn’t nobody tryin to be friends with you when you act like that. I lost it yesterday morning because I WAS IN FEAR…..I got angry. I said some things. I acted out in anger. BARF. Do you ever feel good after you a thug? Naw. Naw you don’t. Sling Pos, not Negs son.

Sometimes you need a 3rd party. My husband and I struggled yesterday with shifting into new roles. We involved a 3rd party for relief. To get centered. We walked away both learning something yesterday. Do NOT shut down. DO NOT name call or be barf (we didn’t do this PSA). If you disagree, walk away, get some insight, look at YOUR part, not his/hers…YOURS. Then calmly talk later. We literally walked away with the simplest but life altering lessons yesterday.

Trust your gut and do what is RIGHT between you and God. You know God. You know right from wrong. BE THE RIGHT even when the rest is going wrong. SHOW UP. You know what it means to be a good servant of the Lord and what it means to be a punk. Be cool. Trust yourself. TRUST YOURSELF. Seek yourself through God in Prayer. He will guide you. HE WILL GUIDE YOU.

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Breast Feeding Question (don’t read if you don’t wanna talk baby boobs) 1000 667 taylalynn

Breast Feeding Question (don’t read if you don’t wanna talk baby boobs)

Ladies,

I am having an issue, maybe?

Tru really only like to nurse off one breast. Did you experience this?

As a solution right now I am pumping the other side.

My questions are:

Is he getting enough milk off just the one side?

Is this normal or better yet ok?

What do you do for nipples that feel like they have been run across concrete?

How much do you feed your baby from the bottle? Tru can drink 4oz easily.

That does it for today!



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