The winters were hard in that trailer out on HWY96 east. I can’t remember if there wasn’t heat or if we just couldn’t afford to cut it on. It seems like there must have been some sort of heat because I can remember going into Davids room in the middle of the night with my pillow and blanket and curling myself around a vent in the floor. It was freezing.
3 things I remember vivdly about my bedroom are coming to mind. My digs were of course the master bedroom of the trailer. How I always convinced Mama I needed the master bedroom is still a mystery to me…Naw that a lie, I know exactly how I did it every time 😉
Anyway, 3 things first…ha.
1. I woke up fighting mice or rats off the end of my bed one night.
2. I sliced my screens off my windows cause I liked to climb in and out of em see. Well when I did that I let in a bunch of bugs or heck maybe they was termites, anyway….them termites was all over the pillows..I just flipped the pillows over and went on my merry way.
3. I can see Steff and me now pretending we were models and had a baby (my 1 year old little sister played the role) . We moved to NYC and had an apartment. My room was just the place for such an event as this.
Joggin the memory I can tell you that I had a tv/vcr in my bedroom and had great clothes and toys. I say this not to brag but to let you know that our granny always made sure David and I had what we not only needed but what we wanted as well. Sure, Aunt Bill was in on it too, but only because Granny told her what we liked. David and I would not have survived the isolation, the cold, the hunger out there if it weren’t for Granny. They can all argue all they want on this point.
That trailer was a hell for me. A very scary place for a little girl who up to this point had not known danger. Danger is somethin I ain’t talkin about this mornin but I will…I always will…
Steff, Currier, Brandy being born….our pet donkey…That’s what saved me. Stephanie at this time of my life practically lived with me. She was my suit of armor. About this time too is when we picked up Currier as our 3rd. She was our artist. Together we still climbs walls, sink ships, rescue soldiers and watch the sunset.
That trailer taught me what bein a country girl is. That’s how to make do with what you got, be a survivor, sing as loud as you can, learn to ride a horse or a donkey (they will save you), fight like the dickens but make sure you are prayin even harder….Because sweet girl-when you feel all alone and there ain’t nobody could understand you or what you are going thru, believe me when I tell you Jesus was with me and he will be with you the whole way!!!!
I ain’t done typin I decided. I am holding Tru here in the candlelight. ‘It’s about 5:30am here in Seattle. He started cryin so I pulled him out of bed and wrapped him up in a sweater blanket I was using. As he lay on my chest and the orange glow of light reflects his face I think of Mama.
I cry a bit….In all that chaos out there at that trailer…and i ain’t talkin bad about trailers cause God knows I love me a good trailer…but out there,….where the backyard was a car junk yard for as far as you could see..the mice pooped in our peanut butter and fists flew…how’d she do it? How did she teach us to love so big in the middle of all that. To see the good in the worst people. Taught us to have fun, the be sweet, to just love so big. She loved us that big. Even in poor decisions I never thought “Mama don’t love me.” I have so many good memories at that place too y’all…My little sister being born is one of the most fantastic things that I have experienced to date.
And I’m out Annie….