I am a sucker for that moment…
When everything feels like it can be anything. We are about to do something that brings us to life!
What is it that brings you to life?
I don’t fill in the blanks because I am scared to write.
I don’t post a blog because I am have nothing to say. I lie because I have fear that what I say isn’t what you want to hear.
I don’t let you come over because I am afraid that the corner without the paint will be the corner that your mind holds as it’s its image of me, blank and poor.
I am a kaleidoscope of emotions and thoughts I can’t pick just one. It is like saying that I have one feeling about Mama.
When I say Mama my mind and heart immediately do a lip turn up into a smile, a tear in my eye, a sneeze and then a laugh. Yes, it’s exactly like that. She is all of that.
Mama in my mind’s eye is always smiling or laughing. or let’s get real…eating. She love to eat. Now folks she ain’t fat either. She was always so thin until she really packed it once. She sat and ate at husband number 3 for a year after he cheated on her with his secretary. Anyhoo that another story. Mama love to eat and laugh.
She about 5’4 and back down to all american weight now. She is missin a tooth though from what she say a child knock it out. She date a lot tho so who to say.
There is a woman who writes me when I write about Mama and who also writes Mama to shame me in the way I speak about Mama (yes Mama shows me). Before we get much further….Mama and I have been to therapy, to many “family weeks” at Rehab centers, we have walked thru this, we have forgiven, we laugh, that is how we walk.
Back to Mama.
3 things Mama loves. Animals, kids and Cereal.
Now I could also add men, music and cars here, but lets save that for next week. I think for this chapter leavin it a bit lighter says-hey Mama a dang trip son.
Mama will fight you for a guinea pig.
Growing up I was traumatized by dogs, rabbits ( we would have our friends come over and teach them about sex thru the mating of rabbits, no not mama, well i would do this ok, i sold tickets, kids came, i made bank)
wait, where was I ?????? Oh ok, traumatized, yes trauma…..mmm, mmmmm TRAUMA, One time I put on my dress only to be covered in cat poop for where she thought one of her sick kittens needed my awesome dress as a nice new bed. SHE ROTTEN. We had no less than 15 dogs in our 1,000 sq foot home in high school. SHE BUILT a ramp so they could easily come thru all the windows etc!!!! Then we got us a parrot. Y’all we lived across the street from the high school not on a farm ok, the parrot….she would let fly wild then go out with cheese and sing to him (Marley) and he would fly back to her arm. Yes. I would be out there taking tickets and she would be singing to the parrot, my brother would be hiding in his room appalled at it all, Roger sitting in his wrecker eating spearmint gum and Brandy would be playing in the brand new RV we bought that we parked in our backyard along with the hot tub that was now her new apartment (she was 7). Times were good. Times were good.